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ONE MAN AND
ONE WOMAN---FOR GOOD REASON
The Sunday, August 17, 2003, Times-Picayune
reviewed the book "Mr. S" by Frank Sinatra's valet.
George Jacob spilled the goods on a lot of people, but mainly
his former boss. He writes of Sinatra's dalliance with a teenage
Natalie Wood as well as a succession of stars, bimbos, and anonymous
bedmates. Ava Gardner, he asserts, was the one true love of Sinatra's
life. True love? Not this man. Not a man who goes through women
the way the rest of us go through Kleenex. It would appear Frank
Sinatra was emotionally unable to love a woman.
For good reason God ordained marriage
as one man and one woman and only that. No one can be a husband
or wife to more than one person. Anything more and something vital
is lost.
Perhaps the most romantic and
tragic love story in the Bible concerns David and Abigail. I Samuel
25 describes Abigail's marriage to a fool named Nabal, while introducing
her as "intelligent and beautiful in appearance." Abigail
courageously countermands her husband's stinginess by donating
provisions to David's rebel band and, in the process, charms him.
The news of his wife's generosity with his possessions triggers
a stroke which takes Nabal's life a few days later. About the
time Abigail returned from the funeral, David's messenger arrived
with a marriage proposal. Which she accepted. So much for her
intelligence.
Thus ends the romance between
David and Abigail. This is not the comment of a marriage cynic,
but a fair conclusion of anyone who understands marriage's innate
need of a one-on-one relationship. After David marries Abigail,
we learn that he has other wives, Michal and Ahinoam. In time,
he would add other women to his collection: Maacah, Haggith, Abital,
Eglah and Bathsheba. Is there anyone on the planet who believes
that romance was possible between David and any of these women?
When Solomon ascended to the throne,
he outdid his father in every respect. David built houses, Solomon
erected the Temple. David led troops, Solomon raised armies. David
was wise, Solomon became a philosopher. David had eight wives,
Solomon wed seven hundred women and kept three hundred girlfriends
on the side. Frank Sinatra? Hugh Hefner? Amateurs!
No one will ever convince me Solomon
wrote the love poem designated in the Bible as "The Song
of Solomon." Through the centuries, scholars have reveled
in these intimate love songs between a man and his bride, and
many have attributed the book to Solomon. That it opens with "The
Song of Songs, which is Solomon's" does not mean he wrote
it. The Hebrew term could mean the songs "belonged"
to Solomon, were "in the style of" Solomon, were "in
honor of" Solomon, or that they were indeed "written"
by him. Nothing else in the rest of the little book indicates
that Solomon actually wrote it.
Consider this a voice in the wilderness
calling for preachers and professors to quit attributing this
exchange of love-poetry to the champion womanizer and his latest
squeeze. For a very good reason.
Solomon was constitutionally unable
to have experienced such a one-on-one relationship with any woman.
Was he emotionally handicapped? Spiritually lacking? Romantically
challenged? Immature? Or just lecherous? Solomon did not write
the book that carries his name because he could not have. No one
with two wives and a girlfriend for each day of the year is mentally
able to turn all that off and focus on one woman for any length
of time. No modern man with a wife and a girlfriend on the side---or
for that matter, a succession of wives---can focus on one in any
deep and meaningful way.
The book of Proverbs is also attributed
to Solomon. Veteran professor Dr. George Harrison says it is not
mandatory for us to believe Solomon wrote everything in that book,
only that he wrote some of it and compiled much of the rest from
his own sources. Consider the advice found in Proverbs 5, in which
a father is advising his teenage son:
"Keep your way far from (the
adulteress), and do not go near the door of her house, lest you
give your vigor to others...Drink water from your own cistern,
and fresh water from your own well. Should your springs be dispersed
abroad....let your fountain be blessed and rejoice in the wife
of your youth. As a loving hind and graceful doe, let her breasts
satisfy you at all times. Be exhilarated always with her love."
It's a matter of focus. The man
who concentrates on his wife to the exclusion of all others will
see her true beauty, will value her above everything else in his
life, will watch her self-esteem soar from being so loved, and
will understand why Scripture speaks of husband/wife oneness as
a metaphor for Christ and His Church.
The tragedy is that David and
Solomon, smart men who controlled large territories and vast armies
and possessed great riches, never discovered the real treasure
in their households.
"He who finds a wife finds
a good thing, and obtains favor from the Lord." Proverbs
18:22
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