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Proverbs 20:20 Whoso CURSETH {qālal, Piel Active Participle} his father or his mother, his lamp shall be put out in obscure darkness.

Honor Your Parents

There has been an attack on the family through media in America for the last 40 years. Though it was a funny show, the Cosby Show (1984-1992) depicted a black family called the Huxtables. The mom, Claire, was level headed. The dad, Cliff Huxtable, an idiot that the mom bossed around. Home Improvement (1991-1999) showed again a father and husband who was an idiot, “Tim the Tool Man Taylor”. These shows are a far cry from “Father Knows Best” (1954-1960) or Ozzie and Harriet (1952-1966). In those shows, even when the father and husband messed up, he was always treated with respect.

There is a reason the Bible demands that parents – father and mother – be honored. God attached a promise to keeping the Fifth Commandment:

Exodus 20:12 (ESV) Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long in the land that the LORD your God is giving you.

The Bibles doesn’t command that we like our parents, or even that we love our parents, but that we show them honor, respect because they are our parents. Our parents may make bad decisions. All are flawed by sin. But God tells us that long life is promised to those who honor their parents. The Apostle quotes this text in the New Testament:

Ephesians 6:1-3 (ESV) Children, OBEY your parents in the Lord, for this is right. 2 HONOR your father and mother” (this is the first commandment with a promise), 3 that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land.

I came across this quote from a child psychology site:

“The family unit often acts as society in miniature. When families are strong and stable, they contribute to a thriving community. Conversely, when families struggle, the ripples can be felt throughout society, potentially leading towards breakdown and decline. Today, perhaps more than ever before, the family structure appears weakened, with a significant number of children growing up without a father present in their lives. … Children benefit immensely from exposure to both maternal and paternal approaches. As … research suggests, distinct contributions from both male and female parents seem fundamental to human development. The idea that parenting is gender-neutral doesn’t align with the evidence; fathers offer something unique and irreplaceable.”

Word Study: To honor our parents we are to obey them while in their households. The basis of good civilization begins in the family. Children who “CURSE” their parents – this is a Hebrew word which means “to make light of, to despise the authority of” – we are told “his lamp shall be put out in obscure darkness”. The phrase “His lamp shall be put out” is a metaphor for losing one’s life. The Bible says:

Job 18:5 (KJV) Yea, the light of the wicked shall be put out, and the spark of his fire shall not shine.

The next verse goes with the child that disrespects his parent:

Proverbs 20:21 An INHERITANCE may be gotten hastily at the beginning; but the end thereof shall not be blessed.

This is what happened in the parable of the “Prodigal Son”. This is actually miss-named by us, for Jesus called it:

Luke 15:11 (KJV) … A certain man had TWO SONS:

The parable is not about one son who disrespects his father, but two. Both abuse the father’s Grace.

The younger son received his inheritance hastily. He told his father, “Father, give me the portion of goods that falleth to me”. The child wanted “everything coming to him”, not when the father wanted to give it, but when HE wanted it. The Bible tells us that the father responded by giving to both sons:

Luke 15:12 (KJV) … And he (the father) divided unto THEM [his] living.

Both sons got their inheritance. The elder son received the doubled portion (Deuteronomy 21:17) as was customary, for the elder son would command his father’s estate. The younger son got his portion, then “wasted his substance with riotous living”. He got his inheritance too soon. He should have stayed under the teaching of his father, so he could learn how to handle the inheritance. You may get the inheritance hastily …. but in the end there is no blessing from it. The younger son found this out. Wasting all he had, starving to death, he decided to REPENT and return to his father. He planned to tell his father:

Luke 15:18-19 (KJV) I will arise and go to my father, and will say unto him, Father, I have sinned against heaven, and before thee, 19 And am no more worthy to be called thy son: make me as one of thy hired servants.

We all know the story. When he returned and honored his father, his father said:

Luke 15:22-24 (KJV) … Bring forth the best robe, and put [it] on him; and put a ring on his hand, and shoes on [his] feet: 23 And bring hither the fatted calf, and kill [it]; and let us eat, and be merry: 24 For this my son was dead, and is alive again; he was lost, and is found. And they began to be merry.

The father said nothing about restoring the lost inheritance. This represents New Covenant Grace.

He restored his son, because his son honored him. THEN THE OTHER SON DISHONORED HIM. He was upset because the father never celebrated or had a party for him, but the father did so for the younger son. The father corrected the older son, saying:

Luke 15:31-32 (KJV) … Son, thou art ever with me, and all that I have is thine. 32 It was {right} that we should make merry, and be glad: for this thy brother was dead, and is alive again; and was lost, and is found.

The father reminded his son that LIFE is much more than STUFF. The child who dishonored his father and went off would have died had he not returned to honor his father. Our Lord Jesus ALWAYS honored the Father. He said:

John 6:38 … I have come down from heaven not to do My will, but to do the will of Him who sent Me.

Honoring our parents reminds us that LIFE is the most important thing we have. A father and a mother create life. Both father and mother nurture life. The family is the training ground for future citizens. Quoting another article:

“Children growing up in broken families frequently face emotional and psychological difficulties. The absence of one or both parents can give rise to feelings of abandonment, insecurity, and confusion. These challenges can manifest in various ways, including low self-esteem, depression, anxiety, and behavioral problems.”

Our Heavenly Father Teaches Us To Rest In Him

Proverbs 20:22 (KJV) Say not thou, I will recompense evil; but wait on the Lord, and He shall save thee.

One of the hardest things to do is to not attack back or take vengeance when someone wrongs us. It is the human thing to repay in kind when someone does us bad. The Bible tells us that

Evil is liked poison ivy. To handle it, even lightly, is to infect yourself.

The Apostle wrote:

Romans 12:17-19 (ESV) Repay no one evil for evil, but give thought to do what is honorable in the sight of all. If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all. Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.”

and again,

Proverbs 24:29 (ESV) Do not say, “I will do to him as he has done to me; I will pay the man back for what he has done.”

We are to trust our lives to the Lord, no matter what others do to us. The Apostle Paul warned his student Timothy about a man who did evil to him, saying:

2 Timothy 4:14-18 (ESV)Alexander the coppersmith did me great harm; the Lord will repay him according to his deeds. 15 Beware of him yourself, for he strongly opposed our message. 16 At my first defense no one came to stand by me, but all deserted me. May it not be charged against them! 17 But the Lord stood by me and strengthened me, so that through me the message might be fully proclaimed and all the Gentiles might hear it. So I was rescued from the lion’s mouth. 18 The Lord will rescue me from every evil deed and bring me safely into his heavenly kingdom. To him be the glory forever and ever. Amen.

Paul warned others against Alexander and the evil that he did … but he trusted that God would repay the evil. When we take vengeance, contrary to what the Scripture says, then we stand in the place of God. Paul trusted every bruise, every beating, every lie to the hand of God Who loves us and will avenge us. The enemy only wins if we lower ourselves down to where the enemy lives. This is why we are told:

Proverbs 20:23 (KJV) Divers weights are an abomination unto the Lord; and a false balance is not good.

Though Solomon has talked about divers(e) weights and false weights before (Proverbs 20:10; 11:1), he brings it up again because we may take the attitude of “He cheated me. She slandered me. Why shouldn’t I do the same to them?” God tells us to not play that game, because this is the way of the wicked. We as Christians are called to BLESS others, even when they curse us. This is what our Lord Jesus did:

1 Peter 2:23 (ESV) When {Jesus} was reviled, He did not revile in return; when He suffered, He did not threaten, but continued entrusting Himself to Him {God the Father} who judges justly.

1 Peter 3:9 (ESV) Do not repay evil for evil or reviling for reviling, but on the contrary, bless, for to this you were called, that you may obtain a blessing.

God will punish the wicked, if they will not repent. Our super power is to love our enemies, even when we were hated and reviled.

Trust That God Is Always In Control

Proverbs 20:24 Man’s goings are of the Lord; how can a man then understand his own way?

Since God ultimately controls all things, we cannot ensure our own future. We were told earlier “the heart of man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps” (Proverbs 16:9). So many people plan their future without regard to the Lord. In hear people today talking about buying gold and silver to protect themselves if the economy falls, or to store long term food items as insurance against another Great Depression. Beloved, we don’t know what tomorrow may bring.

But God does.

Jesus warned us to do all things with God in mind. To be “rich toward God”. To please God first, and let God take care of the rest. He gave us this wonderful parable:

Luke 12:13-21 (ESV) Someone in the crowd said to him, “Teacher, tell my brother to divide the inheritance with me.” 14 But {Jesus} said to him, “Man, who made Me a judge or arbitrator over you?” 15 And He said to them, “Take care, and be on your guard against all covetousness, for one’s life does not consist in the abundance of his possessions.” 16 And He told them a parable, saying, “The land of a rich man produced plentifully, 17 and he thought to himself, ‘What shall I do, for I have nowhere to store my crops?’ 18 And he said, ‘I will do this: I will tear down my barns and build larger ones, and there I will store all my grain and my goods. 19 And I will say to my soul, “Soul, you have ample goods laid up for many years; relax, eat, drink, be merry.”‘ 20 But God said to him, ‘Fool! This night your soul is required of you, and the things you have prepared, whose will they be?’ 21 So is the one who lays up treasure for himself and is not rich toward God.”

Rather than worrying about the future, the political climate, or the economy, live your life so that you are “rich toward God”. God is ultimately in control. If you please God, He will care for you. Always!

Be Careful About Making Promises To God

Proverbs 20:25 (KJV) It is a snare to the man who devoureth that which is holy, and AFTER vows to make inquiry.

Since God controls all things, we need to be very careful before making a vow to God rashly. We should “MAKE INQUIRY” or carefully consider our vow BEFORE we make the vow, not afterward. There are several foolish vows found in the Bible as an example. In the Book of Judges we hear the story of the Judge Jephthah the Gileadite. Jephthah served Israel as judge for 6 years. Jephthah led the army of Israel against the Ammonites. Before going into battle, Jephthah made a hasty, foolish vow to God:

Judges 11:30-35 (ESV) Jephthah made a vow to the LORD and said, “If you will give the Ammonites into my hand, 31 then whatever comes out from the doors of my house to meet me when I return in peace from the Ammonites shall be the LORD’s, and I will offer it up for a burnt offering.” 32 So Jephthah crossed over to the Ammonites to fight against them, and the LORD gave them into his hand. 33 And he struck them from Aroer to the neighborhood of Minnith, twenty cities, and as far as Abel-keramim, with a great blow. So the Ammonites were subdued before the people of Israel. 34 Then Jephthah came to his home at Mizpah. And behold, his daughter came out to meet him with tambourines and with dances. She was his only child; besides her he had neither son nor daughter. 35 And as soon as he saw her, he tore his clothes and said, “Alas, my daughter! You have brought me very low, and you have become the cause of great trouble to me. For I have opened my mouth to the LORD, and I cannot take back my vow.”

Jephthah made a foolish and unwarranted vow to God – and it cost him his daughter. Did he have her sacrificed to fulfill his foolish vow, or did he dedicate her to God? I believe he dedicated her to God. My commentary notes:

“God had specifically forbidden offering human sacrifices, so it was absolutely not God’s desire for Jephthah to sacrifice his daughter (Leviticus 20:1-5). Jeremiah 7:31; 19:5; and 32:35 clearly indicate that the idea of human sacrifice has “never even entered God’s mind.” The account of Jephthah and his daughter serves as an example for us to not make foolish vows or oaths. It should also serve as a warning to make sure any vow we make is something that is not in violation of God’s Word.”

Another foolish vow made and found in Scripture was when the Jews decided to kill Paul.

Acts 23:12-14 (NIV) The next morning some Jews formed a conspiracy and bound themselves with an oath not to eat or drink until they had killed Paul. 13 More than forty men were involved in this plot. 14 They went to the chief priests and the elders and said, “We have taken a solemn oath not to eat anything until we have killed Paul.

These men made a “SOLEMN OATH” or a vow to God that they would not eat or drink until they killed Paul. Since Paul didn’t die for several years, and then only at the hand of Caesar, if they kept their vow they died of starvation! Be careful before making a promise to God.

A Wise Leader Will Not Yoke Themselves
With The Evil

Proverbs 20:26-28 A wise king scattereth the wicked, and bringeth the wheel over them. 27 The Spirit of man is the candle of the Lord, searching all the inward parts of the belly. 28 Mercy and truth preserve the king: and his throne is upholden by mercy.

When Israel prepared to go into the land of Canaan, God told them not to marry the women of Canaan. God told His people:

Deuteronomy 7:2-4 (ESV) You shall make no covenant with them and show no mercy to them. 3 You shall not intermarry with them, giving your daughters to their sons or taking their daughters for your sons, 4 for they would turn away your sons from following me, to serve other gods. Then the anger of the Lord would be kindled against you, and he would destroy you quickly.

God forbade His people from “yoking” themselves with unbelievers in an intimate, life changing way. Animals were “yoked” together to pull a plow in the same direction. God’s people are not to “yoke” themselves with godless people. This doesn’t mean we aren’t to associate with godless people, or people who are different from us. Even Jesus did not do this. The Bible says that:

Matthew 9:10-13 (NKJV) Now it happened, as Jesus sat at the table in the house, that behold, many tax collectors and sinners came and sat down with Him and His disciples. 11 And when the Pharisees saw it, they said to His disciples, “Why does your Teacher eat with tax collectors and sinners?” 12 When Jesus heard that, He said to them, “Those who are well have no need of a physician, but those who are sick. 13 But go and learn what this means: ‘I desire mercy and not sacrifice.’ For I did not come to call the righteous, but sinners, to repentance.”

Jesus does not expect His people to be monks or hermits who have no contact with the lost. When Jesus called Levi (or Matthew) from collecting taxes for the Romans to follow Him, the first thing Levi did was have a PARTY at his home and invite his lost friends there (Luke 5:29-31). He did this to introduce them to Jesus.

Christians are not to “unequally yoke” themselves with unbelievers (2 Corinthians 6:14). This does not mean that you cannot work for an unbeliever, or an unbelieving company. If that were true, then no Christian could work for any company other than Home Depot, Hobby Lobby or Chick Fil-a. The best way I’ve heard this described is:

“Unequally yoked” refers to any environment where we let the world influence our thinking to the point that we compromise our beliefs or syncretize with theirs. Paul is not saying is that we should never associate with unbelievers. The idea is to be in the world but not of the world. We’re not meant to be theological hermits in our religious echo chambers, only associating with people that agree with us. This isn’t biblical and doesn’t follow the biblical command to make disciples in Matthew 28 or to know what we believe and why we believe it, as it says in 1 Peter 3:15. We hide our light under a bush, and Jesus says not to do that, we need to let it shine.”

Proverbs 20:26 A wise king scattereth the wicked, and bringeth THE WHEEL {ôp̄ān} over them.

Word Study: Children of the King are not to let anything in their head that will bind them to wickedness. The reference to “THE WHEEL” is the Hebrew ôp̄ān or a threshing wheel. The wheat was separated from the tares or the waste by beating it, or rolling a large wheel over it. The wise king carefully examines those he allows in his life and in his entourage. When Nebuchadnezzar had a dream and wanted it interpreted (Daniel 2), he told his counselors “Tell me the dream and its interpretation, or I will have you destroyed”. The King knew that his counselors would make up an answer, rather than give him a true interpretation. Daniel, though he was in the King’s court, was able to give the interpretation because he went directly to the Lord our God.

Proverbs 20:27 The Spirit of man is the candle of the Lord, searching all the inward parts of the belly.

The Christian is not to be influenced by the world, but to be an influencer. We are called of God to:

Walk in the Spirit, not in the flesh (Galatians 5:16-17)
Walk in Light, not in darkness (Ephesians 5:8)
Walk by faith, not by sight (2 Corinthians 5:7)
Walk in love, not in hate (Ephesians 5:2)
Walk as Jesus walked, not like the world (1 John 2:6)
Walk as wise, not unwise (Ephesians 5:15-16)
Walk in a manner worthy of the Lord (Colossians 1:10-11)

We must not bind ourselves to anyone in an intimate manner that will influence us toward godlessness. Be careful what you watch on television. Be careful what movies you watch. Live your lives in union with the Lord Jesus Christ!

Proverbs 20:28 Mercy and truth preserve the king: and his throne is upholden by mercy.

We are not to feel ourselves superior to the lost. We cling to the truths that the Bible gives us, and refuse to compromise. We enter into NO CONTRACTS with the lost, and do not bind ourselves to darkness. But we do reach out to the lost, so that we might lead some to Christ.

Otherwise, we are no Church.

The Church MUST move forward, sharing the Gospel with all. We cannot afford to sit in our own little building, and shut ourselves off like the Amish do. But we must remember we are to be

Philippians 2:15-16 (KJV) That ye may be blameless and harmless, the sons of God, without rebuke, in the midst of a crooked and perverse nation, among whom ye shine as lights in the world; 16 Holding forth the word of life…