The God Who Loves Designed The Family

Today you’re going to need your Bibles, as Ron is not able to be with us. We’re going to be talking about the Family. I hear a lot of preaching today, and a lot of singing that “God is love”. Let’s stand in honor of God’s Word, showing our love to Him. Listen as God tells us how He loved us by creating the Family:

Ephesians 5:21-33 Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God. 22 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the Savior of the body. 24 Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing. 25 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; 26 That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, 27 That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish. 28 So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. 29 For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church: 30 For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones. 31 For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh. 32 This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church. 33 Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.

God designed the Heavens, the stars, the galaxies.
God designed this earth, separating light from darkness.
God designed the plant life, and the animals.
God designed the Man and Woman.
God designed both man and woman in His image (Genesis 1:27).
God designed Marriage.
God designed the Family.
God designed human sexuality to procreate in the family (Genesis 1:28).
God designed work.
God designed local, state, and national government.
A loving God designed everything for our good.

The Federal Governments did not design marriage, nor the family. Though governments and judges may legislate, and order that the design of the family be re-ordered, the law of man does not change what God has ordained. God designed the family.

And God loves us. In love, He knows what is best.

We’re going to talk about family today, about marriage. We’re going to discuss what the Bible says and, as I go into this, I know that some of you will be upset with me. That’s all right – I’d rather you be upset with me than GOD be upset with me. I’m just going to tell you what the Bible says. As an American with First Amendment rights you can marry anything you want, and you can call anything your family that you want. But you will not be satisfied with your life until you come under God’s loving design. Do you know why?

The God Who LOVES YOU, and Who designed YOU, designed the FAMILY.

The God Who Loves You Ordered The Family

Ephesians 5:21 SUBMITTING YOURSELVES one to another in the fear of God.

The Family is the basic building block of the community, of the nation. When God – the God Who loves you – created everything, He created with order. Light was made first (Genesis 1:3), because “God is LIGHT, and in HIM there is no darkness” (1 John 1:5). Then, within this LIGHT, God created all other things. God created DAY and NIGHT BEFORE He created the Sun and Moon (compare Genesis 1:3-4 with Genesis 1:14-16). Some people have said, “No, that can’t be. The Bible must be in error! The SUN gives us light by day, and the MOON by night.” That’s true now. But God created LIGHT independent of the sun or moon. Light comes from the sun and is reflected from the moon because GOD RULED IT SO. But the sun and the moon are not the source of light. GOD is the Source of light. The Psalmist sang:

Psalm 27:1 The LORD IS MY LIGHT and my salvation—whom shall I fear?

Psalm 36:9 For with You is the fountain of life; in YOUR LIGHT WE SEE LIGHT.

There is an order in creation. God creates Light, and light rules. When God created man and woman, we are told:

Genesis 1:27-28 (LSB) God created man in His own image, in the image of God He created him; MALE AND FEMALE HE CREATED THEM. 28 God blessed them, and God said to them, Be fruitful and multiply, and fill the earth, and SUBDUE it; and HAVE DOMINION over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the sky and over every living thing that creeps on the earth.

Both man and woman were created of equal value. Man and woman, TOGETHER, are in the image of God. God told BOTH man and woman together to be fruitful, multiply, and fill the earth. The first family was also together to SUBDUE and HAVE DOMINION over the earth. They were a team. But Beloved, in any team there is a leader.

Marriage is made in the image of God. So let’s think about God Himself. Within the Triune God, all three Members are equally God. The Father is God.

1 Corinthians 8:6 Yet for us there is ONE GOD, THE FATHER, from whom are all things and for whom we exist …

There is “One God and FATHER OF ALL, Who is over all and through all and in all” (Ephesians 4:6). But Jesus Christ the Son of God is God:

John 10:30 {Jesus said} I and the Father ARE ONE

The Pharisees hated Jesus, because “He called God His own Father, making Himself equal with God” (John 5:18). The Father told the angels about Jesus, “let all of the Angels WORSHIP HIM” (Hebrews 1:6). The Father even directly spoke of Jesus, saying “Your Throne, O GOD, is forever and ever”.

But the Bible also says the Holy Spirit is God. Peter told Ananias,

Acts 5:3-4 Ananias, why has Satan filled your heart to lie to the Holy Spirit…? YOU HAVE NOT LIED TO MEN, BUT TO GOD!

The Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit are equally God. But within the Godhead the Father sent the Son (John 5:36-37; John 6:38-39; John 7:16), the Son sends the Spirit (John 15:26; John 16:7). There is SUBMISSION within the Godhead. There is SUBMISSION within creation.

When God made man and woman “in His image and in His likeness” (Genesis 1:27), just as each Member of the Godhead has equal value, each member of the Marriage has equal value. But God created the Man with the leadership role. The role is seen in the design itself.

Man was created first from the dust of the ground (Genesis 2:7)
Man was given oversight of the Garden of Eden (Genesis 2:16)
Woman was created from Adam’s rib (Genesis 2:21-22)

Man was created to lead in the union of marriage, but woman was created to follow and be cherished. Man was to submit himself to GOD, and to love Him above all else. Woman was to submit herself to her mate as long as he followed God. “We MUST OBEY GOD rather than MAN” (Acts 5:29). God must come first.

Ephesians 5:21-22 Submitting yourselves one to another IN THE FEAR OF GOD.22 Wives, SUBMIT YOURSELVES unto YOUR OWN husbands, AS UNTO THE LORD.

The phrase “IN THE FEAR OF GOD” emphasizes that the submission to the husband, or the submission that the husband shows to the wife, is never to override what God has said. “IN THE FEAR OF GOD” doesn’t mean to be in terror of God. It means to understand that God LOVES you, and God wants the best for you. When you step away from God and try and do it your way, there is a consequence. God tells us to DO certain things, and to NOT DO other things because He LOVES US. When we step away from that path we invite disaster.

“Wives, submit yourselves unto YOUR OWN HUSBANDS, AS UNTO THE LORD”

Your husbands do not have the authority, nor the right, to ask you to do anything that is contrary to the Word of God and the spirit of love. When God leads you, dear women, to the man He has planned for your life, you will experience a wonderful love that I can hardly describe.

Men, You Must Be Worthy Of The Woman

Ephesians 5:23 For the husband is the HEAD {kephalē} of the wife, even as CHRIST IS THE HEAD OF THE CHURCH: and he is the Savior of the body. 24 Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.

Modern feminists hate this scripture. They love to speak of “toxic masculinity”, and how women do not need men, that they can do everything a man can do. Sadly, reality does not bear this out. If a woman is going to have a child, she needs a man. I saw this video the other day where a woman said,

“I think we need to normalize borrowing another woman’s husband. If I need something moved, or something repaired, I ought to be able to call a married friend and borrow her husband for the heavy lifting.”

That’s foolish! Let me suggest this, dear one. Women are different from men. You were designed with less structural strength for lifting, and with a different mindset than the man. That’s not bad. Men can’t have babies (praise the LORD!). Men can’t breastfeed (praise God!). Women have skill sets that men don’t have.

If you need a man to help you, go first to JESUS CHRIST and SUBMIT TO HIM as Lord and Savior. Begin to attend a local Church, and ask Godly men in that Church to help you do the things you can’t do. A Godly man will help you if you ask – we’ve often done that in this Church.

Preach: I believe there is a “toxic masculinity”, but it’s not what the world calls “toxic masculinity”. “Toxic masculinity” is the man who will not lead his wife in a God honoring way. Toxic masculinity is the man who lets his wife take the helm on everything, and stands by and watches then blames her when a mess comes. Toxic masculinity is the husband with the wandering eye, who pays no attention to his wife. Toxic masculinity is the emaciated effeminate man “in touch with his feminine side” that never lovingly restricts his wife from doing that which is ungodly. Do you want to see a picture of toxic masculinity?

Go look at Adam.

God gave Adam charge over Eden, and gave Adam very clear directions.

Genesis 2:16-17 (LSB) From any tree of the garden you may surely eat; 17 but from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, you shall not eat from it; for IN THE DAY YOU EAT FROM IT, YOU WILL SURELY DIE.

That’s as clear as it can be! Yet when the serpent (that Old Serpent is Satan, see Revelation 12:9; 20:2) came in the Garden and began to talk to his wife, Adam stood back and said nothing. When Satan tempted his wife, and mocked the command of God, saying:

Genesis 3:4-5 (LSB) You SURELY WILL NOT DIE! 5 For God knows that in the day you eat from it YOUR EYES WILL BE OPENED, and YOU WILL BE LIKE GOD, knowing good and evil.

Where was Adam? He was right there. The Bible says:

Genesis 3:6 (LSB) Then the woman saw that the tree was good for food, and that it was a delight to the eyes, and that the tree was desirable to make [one] wise, so she took from its fruit and ate; and she GAVE ALSO TO HER HUSBAND WHO WAS WITH HER and HE ATE.

It is a toxic male that stood by watching his wife do that which he KNEW God said don’t do. It was a toxic male that abdicated his leadership in that beautiful union called marriage.

What Adam did would be as bad as the Heavenly Father walking away from His Throne. What Adam did is as horrible as the Father saying to Jesus, “Go make payment for the sins of the world”, and Jesus saying “No, I’m not going to go!” It’s toxic. It’s evil. God would never do that. The Father sent the Son. The Son went without complaint. The Son sent the Spirit. The Spirit came without argument. God is not toxic – but Adam was.

His toxic behavior polluted humanity with a pollution that drags us down today. The Bible says:

Romans 5:12, 17 (NKJV) Therefore, just as through one man sin entered the world, and death through sin, and thus death spread to all men, because all sinned– … 17 For if by the one man’s offense death reigned through the one, much more those who receive abundance of grace and of the gift of righteousness will reign in life through the One, Jesus Christ.)

Adam is a picture of a toxic man. But Jesus Christ is a picture of the man God wants us to be.

Ephesians 5:25-27 Husbands, LOVE YOUR WIVES, EVEN AS CHRIST ALSO LOVED THE CHURCH, and GAVE HIMSELF FOR IT; 26 THAT HE MIGHT SANCTIFY IT AND CLEANSE IT WITH THE WASHING OF WATER BY THE WORD, 27 That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it SHOULD BE HOLY AND WITHOUT BLEMISH.

Illustrate: When I came by the Church yesterday, I saw a buzzard standing in front of the doors of the Fellowship Hall looking in. I watched it for a while, and it stared in the windows of the doors intently. I realized the buzzard was staring at its own image in the window. When I walked up, the buzzard took off. It left behind two nasty piles of stomach spit on the sidewalk in front of the door. Yuk!

Adam didn’t love his wife. If he had loved his wife, he would have told her not to eat. He would have told her “don’t talk to a talking snake”. He would have done ANYTHING better than he did. After eating, Adam stared not at God’s Word but at his own reflection in the window. Like an old buzzard he didn’t look to God, but to himself. He made fig leaves for them to wear (Genesis 3:7), a human solution for a terrible divine tragedy. When confronted by God, Adam did not take credit for his failure. Toxic masculinity always looks for someone else to blame. He told God:

Genesis 3:12 (LSB) The woman whom YOU GAVE TO BE WITH ME, SHE GAVE TO ME from the tree, and I ATE.

“I only ate, God, because you gave me THIS woman. I only ate, Lord, because SHE gave it to me”. Toxic masculinity does not stay true to the Word of God. Toxic masculinity sets its own standard, its own agenda. But true masculinity is found in the Lord Jesus Christ.

CHRIST ALSO LOVED THE CHURCH, and GAVE HIMSELF FOR IT

Here is true masculinity. Not to hide behind your woman, but to stand up for her. Jesus Christ loved the Church. Whereas Adam brought sin into the world, Jesus Christ died to make payment for our sins. He laid His life down to redeem us, to bring us into the Light of God.

John 10:11, 17-18 I am the Good Shepherd. The Good Shepherd LAYS DOWN HIS LIFE FOR THE SHEEP. … I lay down my life that I may take it up again. No one takes it from me, but I LAY IT DOWN OF MY OWN ACCORD.

The toxic male focuses on his life, his wants. The man God made us to be is like Jesus, willing to die for his wife. No one made Jesus lay down His life, but He laid it down to bring us closer to God.

The man God wants us to be lays down his life willingly to bring our wives, our children, our friends, our communities, our nation closer to the Kingdom of God.

THAT HE MIGHT SANCTIFY IT AND CLEANSE IT WITH THE WASHING OF WATER BY THE WORD

Jesus did not die and rise again so that He might bring the Church – His Bride – in alignment with the world. Jesus died and rose again so that His Church might be Scripture centered, that it might be a society of SAINTS TOGETHER who are JUSTIFIED by faith and living HOLY lives pleasing to God. God did not give Adam his Eve to be a sex toy or a maid or a mommy. Had Adam loved Eve he would have done everything he could to draw her closer to God the Father.

Jesus Christ died and rose again so that His Church “SHOULD BE HOLY AND WITHOUT BLEMISH”, not part of the world. The toxic male allows his wife to wander from God, and supports that wandering.

Now let me say this quickly: Some of you may have wives or husbands who do not know the Lord Jesus Christ as Savior, nor do they care to do so. The Bible tells us:

1 Corinthians 7:12-15 (LSB) …. if any brother has A WIFE WHO IS AN UNBELIEVER, and SHE CONSENTS TO LIVE WITH HIM, HE MUST NOT DIVORCE HER. 13 And A WOMAN WHO HAS AN UNBELIEVING HUSBAND, AND HE CONSENTS TO LIVE WITH HER, SHE MUST NOT DIVORCE HER HUSBAND. 14 For the UNBELIEVING HUSBAND IS SANCTIFIED THROUGH HIS WIFE, and the UNBELIEVING WIFE IS SANCTIFIED THROUGH HER BELIEVING HUSBAND. For otherwise your children are unclean, but now they are holy. 15 Yet IF THE UNBELIEVING ONE LEAVES, LET HIM LEAVE. The brother or the sister is not (BOUND) in such [cases], but God has called us to peace.

There are instances where a believer will find themselves in a marriage with an unbeliever. The Bible tells the believer to stay with that unbeliever if they so consent to it, for who knows, if by your example the other be saved. I know in our own Church I have heard the testimony of one who was saved through the witness of a spouse. God calls us to be peacemakers.

Ephesians 5:28-20 So ought men to LOVE THEIR WIVES AS THEIR OWN BODIES. He that LOVETH HIS WIFE LOVETH HIMSELF. 29 For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, EVEN AS THE LORD THE CHURCH

Oh, how Jesus loves His Church. How He loves you and I. Men, we are called as Christians to love our wives as Jesus loves the Church.

The Mystery Of Marriage

Ephesians 5:31-33 For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh. 32 THIS IS A GREAT MYSTERY: but I speak concerning Christ and the church. 33 Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.

A good, God blessed marriage is a “GREAT MYSTERY”. I love “mystery” books, detective novels, where the plot is eventually revealed. When two come together as God has intended, the two become one. Marriage is the completion of the full image of God. The two are to be one. This is the basis of the family, the family as God means it to be.

What of those who have lost their loved ones? Lost their spouse, their mama, their daddy? Church, this is where we need to come alongside of those in need. We as the wonderful Church that Jesus died for must show our love for those who have suffered the loss of their other. We must stand in the gap for children who need the representation of a father or a mother.

We need to stand with those in the valley, and point them to Jesus. We need to help those women that need help – and men too – that are in the valley of loss. The Bible says:

Galatians 6:9–10 And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up. So then, AS WE HAVE OPPORTUNITY, let us DO GOOD TO EVERYONE, and ESPECIALLY TO THOSE WHO ARE OF THE HOUSEHOLD OF FAITH.

In marriage, you have an immediate family. But in the Church you have an eternal family. Draw near to your family. Let your needs be known. We cannot read minds. But given the opportunity, we will help. For we are the Lord’s.