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Having given us the seven characteristics of the Christian (Matthew 5:1-12), and defining His people as salt and light (Matthew 5:13-20), Jesus begins to tell us how we show the Kingdom through our personal relationships. Last week we looked at maintaining unity and peace in the Body of Christ. This week Jesus is going to get into some really politically incorrect areas, beginning with …

How Men Should Treat Women

For some reason, women want to be equal to men. I think it started in the Garden of Eden, when Adam stepped back and allowed Eve to be duped by the serpent. Women are not the same as men. In fact, the Bible tells men that we are to cherish and elevate women. In the marital relationship the wife is directed to:

1 Peter 3:1-6 NKJV – Wives, likewise, BE SUBMISSIVE TO YOUR OWN HUSBANDS, that even if some do not obey the word, they, without a word, may be won by the conduct of their wives, 2 when they observe your chaste conduct accompanied by fear. 3 Do not let your adornment be merely outward–arranging the hair, wearing gold, or putting on fine apparel– 4 rather let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God. 5 For in this manner, in former times, the holy women who trusted in God also adorned themselves, BEING SUBMISSIVE TO THEIR OWN HUSBANDS, 6 as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord, WHOSE DAUGHTERS YOU ARE IF YOU DO GOOD and are not afraid with any terror.

How were men to treat their wives? The Apostle goes on to say:

1 Peter 3:7 NKJV – Husbands, likewise, dwell with them with understanding, GIVING HONOR {timē} TO THE WIFE, AS TO THE WEAKER VESSEL, and as BEING HEIRS TOGETHER OF THE GRACE OF LIFE, that YOUR PRAYERS MAY NOT BE HINDERED.

Word Study: The husband is to HONOR HIS WIFE. The word translated “HONOR” is the Greek timē, which means “to cherish as precious, to highly value or reverence as something or someone of great value”. This word was used to describe the Blood of Jesus Christ, shed on the Cross for us:

1 Corinthians 6:20 KJV – For ye are BOUGHT WITH A PRICE:[timē] therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God’s.

1 Corinthians 7:23 KJV – Ye are BOUGHT WITH A PRICE:[timē] be not ye the servants of men.

This is the exact same word that is used when it tells us how to treat God Himself:

Hebrews 2:9 KJV – But we see Jesus, who was made a little lower than the angels for the suffering of death, crowned with glory and HONOR;[timē] that he by the grace of God should taste death for every man.

When God says the wife is the “WEAKER VESSEL”, He is not saying she is of lesser value than the man. The wife is to be treated like a Ming Vase. She is very valuable, but does not have the strength of the man. God made the man strong to cherish and protect his wife, to guard her from harm, to lift her up and to, if need be, die for her. In a related text, God tells husbands:

Ephesians 5:25, 28-29 NKJV – Husbands, LOVE YOUR WIVES, JUST AS CHRIST ALSO LOVED THE CHURCH and gave Himself for her, … 28 So HUSBANDS OUGHT TO LOVE THEIR WIVES AS THEIR OWN BODIES; he who loves his wife loves himself. 29 For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church.

The husband should love his wife and protect her, elevate her, and cherish her. The wife is to “SUBMIT TO YOUR OWN HUSBANDS, as to the Lord” (Ephesians 5:22). That is how God designed marriage. Eve is to follow Adam as Adam follows God.

Now let’s go to the Sermon on the Mount. What is going on in Israel? The same nonsense that is going on in America today. Men are not pursuing wives – they are pursuing pleasure. Jesus says:

Matthew 5:27-28 KJV – Ye have heard that it was said by them of old time, THOU SHALT NOT COMMIT ADULTERY: 28 But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart.

When God gave the Seventh Commandment

“Thou shalt not commit ADULTERY (nā’ap̄)” Exodus 20:14; Deuteronomy 5:18

Word Study: God used the Hebrew nā’ap̄, or “adultery”, as opposed to the other sexual sins. “Adultery” is when someone breaks the union of marriage, and has sexual relationship outside of that consecrated union. The Bible forbids other types of sex outside of marriage, such as:

1 Corinthians 6:18 … Flee FORNICATION (porneia, sexual immorality)
1 Corinthians 6:15-18 PROSTITUTION (pornē)
Leviticus 18:22; Romans 1:26-27 HOMOSEXUALITY
Leviticus 18:23 BESTIALITY
Deuteronomy 22:5 TRANSGENDERISM
Ephesians 5:3 PROMISCUITY

When God gave the Ten Commandments, these commandments, if kept, would maintain the stability of the nation who kept them. When marriage and the marital union is broken, the family is broken, and the nation is weakened.

God believes in family. God believes in marriage. But what was happening in Israel is the same thing happening in America today. The man is supposed to cherish his wife, and treat her like a valuable vessel. But when the man’s eyes start wandering, it isn’t long before the marital union is destroyed because of adultery.

“Whosoever LOOKETH ON A WOMAN TO LUST after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart”. Many of the Jewish husbands started looking around as their wives got older. They started eyeing younger women. What did Jesus say about this?

Matthew 5:29-30 KJV – And if thy RIGHT EYE OFFEND THEE, pluck it out, and cast it from thee: for it is profitable for thee that one of thy members should perish, and not that thy whole body should be cast into hell. 30 And if thy right hand offend thee, cut it off, and cast it from thee: for it is profitable for thee that one of thy members should perish, and not that thy whole body should be cast into hell.

God does not take violation of the marriage vows lightly. Men are not to take a wife and then, when she ages, throw her away and look for a newer model. When a man begins to chase pleasure rather than loving the wife God has given him, it doesn’t just hurt the man. It hurts the woman, it hurts the family, and it hurts the stability of the nation. The Jewish leaders had begun to make divorce and remarriage easy. Jesus condemned this.

Matthew 5:31-32 KJV – It hath been said, Whosoever shall put away his wife, LET HIM GIVE HER A WRITING OF DIVORCEMENT: 32 But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery.

Imagine you are a wife in ancient Israel. Your husband starts looking around as you age, picking out his next or improved wife. The leadership in Israel said “If you want to trade models, just “GIVE HER A WRITING OF DIVORCEMENT”. Tell her you no longer want her. Jesus tells the men that God is not pleased with that way of life. Jesus said:

whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of FORNICATION (porneia), causeth her to commit adultery

Word Study: What is a valid reason for a man to dump his wife? Because there’s some pretty young thing out there, ready to take her place? Absolutely not! The primary reason Jesus gives for divorce is not old age, disease, or a desire for something new. The primary reason is “FORNICATION”, the Greek porneia, which means sexual activity outside of Biblical marriage. If the wife breaks the marital union by stepping out on the man, in such cases a writing of divorce is legitimate. This is the reason that the Angel Gabriel came to Joseph when Mary was discovered to be with child (Matthew 1:20-24). Joseph was going to “put her away privately” until he discovered that she was carrying God Incarnate, Jesus in her womb.

God’s People Should Keep Their Word

When a man and woman stand before the Pastor and take vows to “love, honor, and cherish one another”, these vows matter. God’s people should keep their word. Again, the leadership of Israel began to support conditional honesty. They began to teach that – as long as you did not make the promise as a vow before God, then you are not held to it.

Matthew 5:33 KJV – Again, ye have heard that it hath been said by them of old time, Thou shalt not forswear thyself, but shalt PERFORM UNTO THE LORD THY OATHS:

The Child of God should keep their word whether or not they swore a vow to God. Jesus said:

Matthew 5:34-37 KJV – But I say unto you, SWEAR NOT AT ALL; neither by heaven; for it is God’s throne: 35 Nor by the earth; for it is his footstool: neither by Jerusalem; for it is the city of the great King. 36 Neither shalt thou swear by thy head, because thou canst not make one hair white or black. 37 But let your communication be, Yea, yea; Nay, nay: for whatsoever is more than these cometh of evil.

Don’t swear by Heaven. Don’t swear by earth. Don’t swear by Jerusalem, nor by your life (I swear on my life). Jesus said “let your communication be, Yea, yea; Nay, nay: for whatsoever is more than these cometh of evil”. What does He mean?

If you say you’re going to do it – DO IT. If you don’t want to do it, then SAY IT. Keep your word and your integrity.

Trust That God Will Look After You

Matthew 5:38 KJV – Ye have heard that it hath been said, AN EYE FOR AN EYE AND A TOOTH FOR A TOOTH:

In the Old Testament there was a principle called “lex talionis”—the law of equivalent justice. God gives this law in several places:

Exodus 21:24 (KJV) … Eye for eye, tooth for tooth, hand for hand, foot for foot…

Leviticus 24:20 (KJV) Breach for breach, eye for eye, tooth for tooth…

Deuteronomy 19:21 (KJV) And thine eye shall not pity; but life shall go for life, eye for eye, tooth for tooth…

The intent of lex talionis was to give equal justice for an offense. It was not given as a means to taking vengeance against someone. God told His people:

Proverbs 20:22 (ESV) Do not say ‘I will repay evil’; WAIT FOR THE LORD, and HE WILL DELIVER YOU …

Romans 12:19 (ESV) Beloved, NEVER AVENGE YOURSELVES, BUT LEAVE IT TO THE WRATH OF GOD, for it is written, ‘Vengeance is MINE, I WILL REPAY, says the Lord’

The law of lex talionis never meant for you to avenge yourself. What it meant was that – if your case was brought before a judge, the judge could only inflict an equivalent punishment on an offender.

If a tooth was knocked out, the judge could only rule that the offender lose a tooth. If an eye was put out, the judge could only rule that an eye be taken from the offender. There was to be equal justice. But somehow the unstable leadership of Israel had begun to twist the lex talionis, making it into something it was never meant to be. Jesus said:

Matthew 5:39-42 KJV – But I say unto you, That ye RESIST {anthistēmi, to set yourself against} NOT EVIL: but whosoever shall smite thee on thy right cheek, TURN TO HIM THE OTHER ALSO. 40 And if any man will sue thee at the law, and take away thy coat, let him have thy cloke also. 41 And whosoever shall COMPEL THEE TO GO A MILE, go with him twain. 42 GIVE TO HIM THAT ASKETH THEE, and from HIM THAT WOULD BORROW OF THEE TURN NOT THOU AWAY.

In the ancient world to slap someone on the cheek was to give an insult to them. Jesus isn’t saying we can’t defend ourselves. At the Last Supper Jesus told His disciples:

Luke 22:36 (NKJV) … he who has no sword, let him sell his garment and BUY ONE

We’re not supposed to “live by the sword” (Matthew 26:52), but we are allowed to protect ourselves. But we must also understand that as Christians, as Children of God, we are to be PEACEMAKERS:

Matthew 5:9 KJV – Blessed are the PEACEMAKERS: for THEY SHALL BE CALLED THE CHILDREN OF GOD.

It is our purpose to lead others to Christ. So we are to expect insults – and turn the other cheek on those insults. We are not to be militant, but are to model what a child of God is to be. We are allowed to defend ourselves against attacks – but we don’t have to respond to every insult.

In the ancient world the Roman soldier could compel you to carry his pack for a mile. The Jews hated that! They saw the Roman soldier as the enemy, and if forced to carry the pack, would slam it down at the end of the mile – and walk away spitefully. Jesus tells us:

whosoever shall COMPEL THEE TO GO A MILE, go with him twain

If the Roman soldier makes you carry his pack a mile – carry it TWO. And if someone comes to you in need, satisfy that need as long as it does not violate that standards of the Scripture. A loving, caring attitude will do more to win people to Christ than all the sermons the preacher can make.

People Should See The Love Of The Child Of God

Matthew 5:43-46 KJV – Ye have heard that it hath been said, Thou shalt love thy neighbor, and hate thine enemy. 44 But I say unto you, Love your enemies, BLESS THEM that curse you, DO GOOD TO THEM that hate you, and PRAY FOR THEM which despitefully use you, and persecute you; 45 That ye may be the children of your Father which is in heaven: for He maketh his sun to rise on the evil and on the good, and sendeth rain on the just and on the unjust. 46 For if ye love them which love you, what reward have ye? do not even the publicans the same?

Again, the leaders of Israel had taught the people to hate the Roman invader, to hate the Samaritan, to hate anyone who was not like the Jew. But in the Old Testament God never told Israel to hate anyone. There is no verse in the Bible that says “Hate your enemy”. In fact, God demanded that the Israelite be good to the enemy. God said:

Exodus 23:4-5 NKJV – If you meet YOUR ENEMY’S OX OR HIS DONKEY going astray, you shall surely BRING IT BACK TO HIM AGAIN. 5 If you see the donkey of ONE WHO HATES YOU you lying under its burden, and you would refrain from helping it, YOU SHALL SURELY HELP HIM WITH IT.

You may not like your enemy, but you are to do good toward him regardless as to what you feel. Jesus doesn’t tell us that we have to like everyone. But He demands that we

BLESS THEM that curse you, DO GOOD TO THEM that hate you, and PRAY FOR THEM which despitefully use you, and persecute you

Bless and do good and pray for the enemy. Why do you do this? Because you are imitating your Heavenly Father:

He MAKETH HIS SUN TO RISE on the evil and on the good, and SENDETH RAIN on the just and on the unjust

God blesses everyone equally, though God does not like the actions of the wicked. There will come a day when He will punish them for the evil that they do. Jesus says:

Matthew 5:47-48 KJV – And if ye salute your brethren only, what do ye more than others? do not even the publicans so? 48 BE YE THEREFORE PERFECT (teleios), even AS YOUR FATHER WHICH IS IN HEAVEN IS PERFECT (teleios)

Word Study: The word rendered “PERFECT” is the Greek teleios, which means “to be complete or whole”. When you allow others who are not in Christ to drag you down to their level, you rob yourself of the blessings of God. We are to be salt, not asphalt. We are to be light, not a blight. We are to live so as to honor our Creator, so as to make the world a better place. We are to love like God loves. Thomas Shepherd, Senior Research Professor of New Testament at Andrews University writes:

“When a thing is full grown and has reached its goal, it is called teleios (perfect). The Christian life has a goal. It is pointed toward heaven. The upward call of the gospel is distinct (Philippians 3:12–14). God accepts us wherever He finds us, but He never leaves us there. He takes us on a journey to Christian maturity. The command of Jesus expresses the fruition of that journey. To accept the command is to accept the journey and to walk within His will. The goal of perfection—of Christian maturity, of being like our Father in heaven—is given to us not to discourage, but to serve as our guiding star in a world of moral darkness.”

Jesus is not saying we can be flawless as God is flawless – for that is impossible. But He is saying that the goal we should strive for is to do good to others even when they do bad to us. We cannot control our emotions, but we can control our actions. The Jamieson, Fausset & Brown Commentary notes:

“Jesus is not setting an impossible standard of infinite perfection; He is describing the character — the full-orbed, complete moral quality — that is to mark His disciples and His kingdom. The divine Model is invoked not to crush but to define the shape of the life He is calling His followers into.”

Let us live together for the glory of Christ! Amen.