Do you ever feel alone? I do.
I don’t mean “alone” as in God has abandoned me. But I do mean “alone” in the sense that it seems as if I am abandoned by those who should be my friends. I found out yesterday that a “preacher” who should know better has been running down my ministry and my Church to a lost man I’ve been witnessing to. That makes me feel alone.
What else contributes to this sense of loneliness? I strive to be a friend to all, but often see no reciprocity. I send birthday and anniversary cards to people, spending a thousand dollars yearly in postage and stationary. How many cards did I and my wife receive last year? Three. Just three. That makes me feel alone.
I grew up alone, rejected by 99% of my schoolmates. I was shy and overweight. To top it off, I wore thick glasses. I was a target of bullies, beaten up, mocked. I did have two friends that were as outcast as I was. We were a tiny, bullied group in the midst of a huge school. The popular kids shunned us. The strong kids bullied us. We were alone.
Then I met Jesus Christ, and He became my companion. I’m never alone. Jesus called me and said “come unto Me, dear David. You are weary and heavy laden. I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you, and learn of me.” So I did. I came to Jesus, grabbed my Bible and began to read and study it. I went in the military, and moved in with three Christian men who studied the Bible with me. I came home one day to find out I was no longer wanted in this “Brotherhood”. Alone.
Broken I prayed that the Lord would send me a wife. God sent me a beautiful wife in Sherry, the heartbeat of my life. She is with me. Jesus is with me. I share my heart with her, and she supports me. She is there for me.
But in ministry I still feel alone.
I know what God has called me to do, but few seem to want to help, or even care what I think. I know what steps we need to take, but few will actually join in. I don’t know what I can do by myself. In the military it took the many working together to accomplish the goal, much as Christ calls His Church to do. But very few will hear. Few will commit. For years I pastored a Church in need of a worship leader. After 7 years I left, and almost immediately a worship leader was hired. I was alone, but the replacement preacher was not.
Perhaps it’s me. I don’t know.
Encouragement would help. Someone besides my wife and Jesus standing with me would help. I have often sought out Pastors to pray with, but none have ever sought me out. I have often asked Pastors to be guest speakers, trying to encourage their ministry. I myself have never had a mentor outside of Christ, never had a Helper outside of the Holy Spirit. I know I’m not alone. But I do wish someone would pitch in and walk with me. I do wish the critics would realize how bad the jabbing hurts. I pray for this. I pray for the day that people realize we all need encouragement, we all need a helping hand. Even Moses could not do it by himself. Someone had to step up and hold up his hands if the battle would be won.
I’m not alone, but I pray for help, help I’ve rarely had. A man told me the other day “If you’re a preacher, you’ll often walk alone”. He’s right, but that doesn’t make it right.
So I’ll look up. I’ll sing. I’ll “look unto Jesus, the Author and Finisher of my faith”. I’ll “run with patience the race set before me”. And I’ll remember that many who profess Christ feel alone. I am not alone in feeling alone. We all hurt. We all suffer from alleged preachers who, “like Alexander the Coppersmith, who did Paul much wrong”. I will pray with the Apostle:
“Alexander the coppersmith did me great harm; the Lord will repay him according to this deeds” (2 Timothy 4:14, ESV).
And I will look to Jesus. Jesus is faithful, and my God is good. And in the end, I will not be alone.