The last few weeks we have looked at the Ten Commandments of God. To review, the First Commandment is that “You will have no other gods before Yahweh”. Our God is #1! The Second Commandment is that “You will not create any idol of any type to worship or bow down to”. For this one we show the picture of the bowing number 2. The Third Commandment is that we will not “Take the Name of Yahweh in vain – to dishonor God with your lips”. The number 3 looks like a set of lips. The Fourth Commandment is to “Remember the Sabbath”, or to take one day in seven and dedicate it to the Lord. As Christians we do this on Sunday. The number 4 looks like a book end for a Bible. Now we come to the Fifth Commandment:

Exodus 20:12 Honor thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long upon the land which the Lord thy God giveth thee.

A Lawyer asked Jesus one day, “What is the “Great Commandment” in the Law?” (Matthew 22:35-40). His intent was to “tempt”or test Jesus, so as to show Him to be a fraud. Our Lord didn’t hesitate. He said:

Matthew 22:37-40 Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. 38 This is the first and great commandment. 39 And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself. 40 On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets.

Our Lord divided the Ten Commandments into two great Commandments. When we look at the Ten, the first Four Commandments are summarized as “To love the Lord your God with ALL your heart, ALL your soul, and ALL your mind”. The last Five Commandments: you shall not murder, you shall not commit adultery, you shall not steal, you shall not bear false witness, you shall not covet another’s property; are all summarized by “You shall love your neighbor as you want to be loved”.

The Fifth Commandment to honor your parents is a hinge that connects the two great commandments. Your parents teach you to love God with your ALL, and to love others the way you want to be loved. The civility of a nation is determined by whether this commandment is honored or not.

The Office of Parent Was Designed By God
To Be Representatives For God

Exodus 20:12 … HONOR thy father and thy mother …

Word Study: The word translated “HONOR” is the Hebrew kāḇaḏ, which means “to ascribe weight to, to give glory to, to recognize as rich or valuable”. The same word is used in:

Psalm 22:23 Ye that fear the LORD, praise Him: all ye the seed of Jacob, GLORIFY (kāḇaḏ) Him …..

Psalm 50:15 {God said} call upon Me in the day of trouble: I will deliver thee, and thou shalt GLORIFY (kāḇaḏ) Me …

Parents are not to be worshiped as we worship God – this would be a violation of the First and Second Commandments. But Parents are designed by God to be His representative on the earth. When God made Adam and Eve, the Bible says:

Genesis 1:28 (ESV) God blessed THEM. And God said to THEM, “Be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth and subdue it, and have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the heavens and over every living thing that moves on the earth.”

God blessed the first Couple, and gave THEM DOMINION or control over “every living thing that moves”. The husband and wife were to be a team, the father and mother, the PARENTS. They were to rule the earth and all living things under their control which INCLUDED THEIR CHILDREN. Parents were to teach their children to love God with their ALL (the first Four Commandments) and to love and respect OTHERS the way that they wanted to be respected and loved (the last Five Commandments).

Parents stand in the gap, teaching children to love God and to be good citizens.

Pastor and Bible Scholar Steven J. Cole stated:

“If we are rebellious and disrespectful toward our parents who gave us life and sustenance, we will also probably be rebellious and disrespectful toward the Lord God, our creator and sustainer. Disrespect toward parents and God will also carry over into disrespect for all authority, and thus will result in a breakdown of law and order, leading to a disintegration of the very basis for civilized society. Thus the keeping of the Fifth Commandment is not some outmoded, quaint idea to be set aside without consequence. It is vital to the survival of our nation.”

The reason we as a nation are failing is because the Office of Parent has been destroyed by free sexuality and promiscuity contrary to the command of God. Children are taught how to relate to others in the home, long before they ever are released into the wild. Satan has so confused our nation that we no longer can identify what a woman is or what a man is. Children are fed a diet of books like “Jennifer Has Two Daddies” or “A Tale Of Two Daddies”, or “Heather Has Two Mommies”. They are told that the normal family can be two people of any gender, just as long as they “love” one another. What’s wrong with that? It is contrary to the standard of Christ.

The Pharisees asked our Lord Jesus about marriage and divorce one day. What was Jesus’ response?

Mark 10:6-9 … from the beginning of creation, ‘God made them male and female.’ 7 ‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, 8 and the two shall become one flesh.’ So they are no longer two but one flesh. 9 What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.”

God’s standard was to male them MALE AND FEMALE. The MALE AND FEMALE were to multiply, that is, reproduce. These PARENTS who are FATHER and MOTHER were to rule and guide the children. And the children were to honor and obey their parents as long as the parents did not direct them to violate the Laws of God. Though humans in a misbegotten desire to be “progressive” may twist and pervert the family unit, God said to “HONOR thy father and thy mother. Children are to be punished for violating the Ten Commandments, as these laws lay the basis for an orderly and civil society. How serious was God over parental guidance of the children? The Bible says:

Exodus 21:14-15 … if a man willfully attacks another to kill him by cunning, you shall take him from my altar, that he may die. 15 Whoever strikes his father or his mother shall be put to death.

God considered a child who so disrespected their parents so as to strike them to be as worthy of death as a premeditated murderer! God said in:

Deuteronomy 21:18-21 (ESV) If a man has a stubborn and rebellious son who will not obey the voice of his father or the voice of his mother, and, though they discipline him, will not listen to them, 19 then his father and his mother shall take hold of him and bring him out to the elders of his city at the gate of the place where he lives, 20 and they shall say to the elders of his city, ‘This our son is stubborn and rebellious; he will not obey our voice; he is a glutton and a drunkard.’ 21 Then all the men of the city shall stone him to death with stones. So you shall purge the evil from your midst, and all Israel shall hear, and fear.

Why so harsh? The Parent is the first authority that the child will know. The father and the mother, as God’s representatives, are to teach the child to respect authority and to live civilly with others. The child who will not respect authority in the home will grow up to be the adult disrespectful of order in society.

Both Father And Mother – Though They Themselves Are Imperfect – Are To Be Honored

Proverbs 1:8 Hear, my son, your Father’s instruction, and forsake not your Mother’s teaching.

Proverbs 23:22 Listen to your Father who gave you life, and do not despise your Mother when she is old

Illustrate: Children who are not raised to respect the authority of their father AND mother grow up to be adults who are confused and lawless. They make bad employees, terrible companions, and frightful lawbreakers. I stood watching a child destroy DVD covers at a local Walmart one day while the mother watched. When the young boy of color started tearing up the THIRD DVD I politely asked him, “Son, is that YOUR property?” The mother glared at me, grabbed his hand, and stomped off. I will guarantee you that the mother who does not teach her child to respect the property of others was herself a child who was not taught and corrected. Bad and spoiled children make bad and spoiled children.

Certainly parents will make mistakes. Parents, though called by God to represent God to the child, are imperfect. But even if imperfect, the child is still under the command:

Ephesians 6:1-3 (ESV) Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. 2 “Honor your father and mother” (this is the first commandment with a promise), 3 “that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land.”

One of the earliest examples of disrespect toward a parent is found in the Noahic Account. When the flood waters receded and God blessed Noah and his family, the Bible says that:

Genesis 9:20-21 (ESV) Noah began to be a man of the soil, and he planted a vineyard. 21 He drank of the wine and became drunk and lay uncovered in his tent

Noah, a man who found “Grace in the eyes of God” (Genesis 6:8), a man who faithfully preached of coming destruction while he built an Ark – 120 years!, “planted a vineyard”. Making wine, Noah “became drunk”. That’s a sin! Believers are to …

Romans 13:13 … walk honestly, as in the day; NOT in RIOTING and DRUNKENNESS …

Those who are MURDERERS or those who pursue DRUNKENNESS are warned that THEY SHALL NOT INHERIT THE KINGDOM OF GOD (Galatians 5:21). Noah should not have gotten drunk. Yet even believers in Christ, recipients of Grace, fall short at times. This is not to justify what Noah did by any means. “Do NOT BE DRUNK WITH WINE, for that is excess; but BE FILLED WITH THE HOLY SPIRIT” (Ephesians 5:18). No, Noah had no excuse. As a man of God he should not have gotten drunk. As a parent, a father with three young boys, he should not have gotten drunk. But Noah failed God, just as we all do at time. He failed miserably, and ended up drunken and unclothed. The Bible says:

Genesis 9:22-24 And Ham, the father of Canaan, saw the nakedness of his father and told his two brothers outside. 23 Then Shem and Japheth took a garment, laid it on both their shoulders, and walked backward and covered the nakedness of their father. Their faces were turned backward, and they did not see their father’s nakedness. 24 When Noah awoke from his wine and knew what his youngest son had done to him …

One of Noah’s sons Ham came and found his drunken, naked father stretched out. His father had sinned against God. Rather than cover his sin, out of respect for his father, the Bible says that Ham goes outside and tells his other brothers about it. The commentaries I have read said that Ham was mocking or making light of what his father had done, and then went outside to enlist his brothers into doing the same. When Shem and Japheth heard what Ham had to say, rather than mock their father they took a blanket and, walking backwards out of respect for their father, they covered his sinfulness. When Noah woke up, he cursed his son Ham, saying:

Genesis 9:25 “Cursed be Canaan; a servant of servants shall he be to his brothers.”

Noah did not curse HAM, but he cursed HAM’S SON CANAAN. Why is that?

Canaan was cursed rather than Ham, because disrespect of the parent is transmitted – like disease – from generation to generation.

Because the effects of violating the Fifth Commandment pass down from generation to generation. Ham had no respect for his father, and by gazing at him and mocking him, tried to enlist his other brothers into doing the same. Ham’s son Canaan would see this, and pass this same disrespect down to his children. Canaan and his children would settle in a land called “Canaan”. The people of that land would be so sinful and out of control, that when God sent His people Israel into that land He told them:

Deuteronomy 20:16-17 (ESV) In the cities of the nations the Lord your God is giving you as an inheritance, do not leave alive anything that breathes. Completely destroy them—the Hittites, Amorites, Canaanites, Perizzites, Hivites and Jebusites—as the Lord your God has commanded you.

I have read commentaries that detailed the Phallic Religions of Canaan. They often committed group orgies while false priests beat on human skin covered drums. Children were sacrificed in the fire to appease their gods. When God examined the cultures of those Canaanites, He wanted Israel to not just push them out of the land. God said:

1 Samuel 15:3 (ESV) Now go and strike Amalek and devote to destruction all that they have. Do not spare them, but kill both man and woman, child and infant, ox and sheep, camel and donkey.

I’m sure as you read this you are thinking this is horribly excessive. And yet, when the Fifth Commandment goes out the window, all the other Commandments are forfeited. Anarchy and hatred becomes the rule of the day. Children raised lawlessly are belligerent, and many times cannot be corrected. The Apostle Paul, writing of the degeneration he was seeing in the Roman Empire, said:

Romans 1:28-30 (ESV) … since they did not see fit to acknowledge God, God gave them up to a debased mind to do what ought not to be done. 29 They were filled with all manner of unrighteousness, evil, covetousness, malice. They are full of envy, murder, strife, deceit, maliciousness. They are gossips, 30 slanderers, haters of God, insolent, haughty, boastful, inventors of evil, disobedient to parents …

Rome was not destroyed from without, but from within. Because children were not taught to respect authority, they grew up into adults that did not respect authority. In time, Rome was led by greater and more perverse children in adult bodies. Eventually Rome and all its glory died.

America is heading the same way, dear friends.

Parents Are To Remember They Represent God When Training Their Children

Right after the Scripture says:

Ephesians 6:1-3 (ESV) … Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. 2 “Honor your father and mother” (this is the first commandment with a promise), 3 “that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land.”

It continues with … Ephesians 6:4 FATHERS, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.

Our society tells us that fathers are unimportant, that a child doesn’t need a father. Yet that is wrong. God makes children using fathers AND mothers, and both are needed to raise children. In August of 2022 the State Auditor of Mississippi, Shad White, released a study called “Dads Matter: The Taxpayer Cost of Fatherlessness”. In the summary we read:

“engaged fathers are critical for a healthy society. By comparison, fatherlessness creates myriad costs, both social and economic. Studies show that fatherless children do not go as far in school, have more health problems, and are less financially secure as adults. Other studies show fatherless boys are more likely to become men who enter the corrections system. Still more research shows fatherless girls are more likely to become teenage mothers. Both incarceration and teenage pregnancy are strongly associated with the high school dropout rate. ”

Mississippi spends approximately $180 million each year to incarcerate men from fatherless homes.

If that’s true in Mississippi, what do you think the total across the United States is? Fathers matter, and what fathers do matter. Fathers are commanded to “bring {children} up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord”. Whether a child can play “Grand Theft Auto” or some video game is of little consequence. Fathers are to be engaged in teaching their children, both sons and daughters, to love the Lord with their all. The Scripture says:

Colossians 3:18-21 (ESV) Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. 19 Husbands, love your wives, and do not be harsh with them. 20 Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord. 21 Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged.

We are to follow the pattern of the family as God has given it in the Scripture. The husband – a man – leads and loves the wife and family. The children obey their parents, both father and mother. And fathers are to encourage and train their children, teaching them the two Great Commandments: Love the Lord your God with all your heart, mind, soul, strength, and love your neighbor as you yourself would be loved.

We Are To Imitate Jesus In Following The Fifth Commandment

Our Lord Jesus obeyed and honored His parents. In Luke chapter 2 when Jesus was about 12 years old, Mary and Joseph took Him to the Feast of the Passover in Jerusalem. Part of a caravan, they left at the end of the Feast, but unknown to them Jesus stayed behind. When they discovered Jesus was missing, they returned to Jerusalem and found Jesus sitting in the Temple, teaching the Rabbis the Word of God. Mary asked Jesus, “Son, why have you treated us so? Behold, your father and I have been searching for you in great distress.” Jesus replied, “Why were you looking for me? Did you not know that I must be in my Father’s house?” Jesus was honoring His Heavenly Father first. But the Bible says that:

Luke 2:51 {Jesus} … went down with them and came to Nazareth and was submissive to them.

Jesus, though “God with us” (Matthew 1:23), in His humanity was the Son of Mary and the stepson of Joseph. Jesus honored His earthly parents, just as the Fifth Commandment directs. One of the first miracles Jesus ever did was turning water into wine at a Wedding Feast in Cana of Galilee (John 4:46). Mary was related to the Bride and Groom, and was invited to be there, along with Jesus and His disciples. As the Wedding celebration proceeded they ran out of wine. Mary called Jesus to the side:

John 2:3-4 … the mother of Jesus saith unto him, They have no wine. 4 Jesus saith unto her, Woman, what have I to do with thee? mine hour is not yet come. 5 His mother saith unto the servants, Whatsoever he saith unto you, do it.

When Mary told Jesus they were out of wine, Jesus explained that it was not the best time for Him to do anything. Mary didn’t argue with her Son. She expected Him to make the wine situation go away. He was able. He is God incarnate. There is nothing Jesus can’t do but sin. Guess what? Jesus obeyed His mother. He HONORED her, as He should have. The commentaries note that Joseph was not at the Wedding Feast, possibly because he was deceased. But Mary as Jesus’ parent was to be honored.

When Jesus hung dying for our sins on the Cross, Mary His mother and the Apostle John stood at the foot of the Cross watching. Joseph was no longer with the family, so Jesus was the head of the household. Knowing that He would not be around to look after His mother, the Bible says …

John 19:26-27 When Jesus therefore saw HIS MOTHER, AND THE DISCIPLE STANDING BY, WHOM HE LOVED {John}, He saith to His mother, “Woman, behold thy son”. 27 Then saith He to the disciple, “Behold thy mother!” And from that hour that disciple took her into his own home.

Jesus honored His parents. Jesus heeded His earthly parents, and honors His Heavenly Father still today. He set the pattern for obeying the Fifth Commandment.

In Conclusion

Exodus 20:12 Honor thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long upon the land which the Lord thy God giveth thee.

Children who honor their parents are promised long lives. But children who are disrespectful of their parents often find their lives cut short. The Bible tells us of King David’s third son Absalom. Absalom rebelled against his father, and actually tried to kill David so that he could take the Throne of Israel. In the Battle of Ephraim (2 Samuel 18:9-17) Absalom’s long hair got caught in the branches of a tree, and his mount left him dangling in the air. David’s General Joab found him that way, and together with ten other soldiers stabbed him to death. Absalom was 29 years old.

The Judge and Strongman Samson died at a younger age than he should have because he would not heed his parents. His parents told him to leave Philistine women alone (Judges 14:2-3). He wouldn’t listen, and only judged Israel 20 years, probably dying before he was 30 years old.

But Joseph, the son of Jacob honored his father, and forgave his brothers for their treachery. Loving God with all his heart, soul, mind and strength, Joseph lived with honor, and became the highest ruler in Egypt next to the King. Honoring his parents, Joseph became the key to the growth of Israel as a nation. The Bible says:

Proverbs 10:27 (ESV) The fear of the Lord prolongs life, but the years of the wicked will be short.

Proverbs 30:17 The eye that mocks a father and scorns to obey a mother will be picked out by the ravens of the valley and eaten by the vultures.

I’ll end with this illustration by Joy Davidman from the book, Smoke on the Mountain:

{There was} an old man who lived with his son and daughter-in-law because he had no where else to go. The old man’s hands trembled. When he ate, he clattered the silverware, often missed his mouth with the spoon, and dribbled some of his food on the tablecloth. The daughter-in-law hated having him there because he interfered with her right to happiness. So she and her husband took the old man gently but firmly and led him to a corner of the kitchen. There they set him on a stool and gave him his food in an earthenware bowl. From then on he always ate in the corner, blinking at the table with wistful eyes. One day his hands trembled more than usual and he dropped the bowl, which broke. “If you are a pig,” said the daughter-in-law, “you must eat out of a trough.” So they made him a little wooden trough, and he got his meals in that.

This couple had a four-year-old son they were quite fond of. One night the father noticed the boy playing intently with some bits of wood and he asked what he was doing. “I’m making a trough,” he said, smiling for approval, “to feed you and Mamma out of when I get big.” The man and his wife looked at each other for a while and didn’t say anything. Then they cried a little. Then they went to the corner and took the old man by the arm and led him back to the table. They sat him in a comfortable chair and fed him his dinner on a plate. From then on nobody scolded him when he clattered or spilled or broke things.

What you sow, you will reap. Honor your parents!